Kids are well enough into the school year to have bonded with new friends and the inevitable “Mom! Can we have a sleepover? Puhleeeze!” comes up. At that moment moms feel either a wave of happiness (Yea! A free evening!), or dread and anxiety set in. Don’t get caught off guard! Be prepared on how you want to answer.
So, what is a good age (or a safe age) for a sleepover? What can you do to make sure your child is “safe” while at someone’s house?
So much of those answers depend on your (risk) comfort level and the maturity of your child. Every family is different. Many parents remember sleepovers as fun and an integral part of growing up. Others may have some not-so-pleasant memories and wish to skip the whole thing with their kids. Others just think they are a pain!
Wherever you find yourself on the sleepover spectrum, here are some good tips to help you decide what is best for your family and some good strategies for safety.
- Ask questions. Don’t be shy!
- Find out who is going to be in charge for the whole sleepover (parents, siblings, a sitter?). Ask for them to be specific.
- Ask where the phone is located so that your child can call you if they need you.
- Ask what the planned events are for the evening (PG, PG-13, or R-rated movies? Xbox?).
- Ask where the kids will be sleeping.
- Confirm with the parents that there is actually a sleepover happening at their house that evening. This seems to be important when dealing with older middle school aged kids and sleepovers (and some of you know EXACTLY what I am talking about here).
- Get a phone number and a cell number for the parents in charge.
- Ask who will be in the home that evening. An older sibling might be fine but how do you feel about his or her friend/boyfriend/girlfriend also being there?
Make sure to walk your child into the house and meet the parents. I know this sounds obvious but we have heard over and over from parents that this is routinely not the case.
Opt for a half-sleepover. This is a great option for younger kids or a child who has trouble sleeping away from home. They can go and have fun, bring the sleeping bag and PJs, watch the movie and then come home at 10 PM. We started with half-sleepovers in our house and we have stuck with it all these years.
Last but not least, if at any time you or your child feels uncomfortable or weird about the place or the people, don’t go! Make sure your child knows that they can come home. Certainly don’t force them to go if they don’t want to. Also, be sure to review your family safety rules before you head out to the slumber party!
About the Author: Kim Estes is the owner of Savvy Parents Safe Kids and has worked with parents for over 15 years, educating them on various parenting topics. Kim is a certified prevention educator through the National Security Alliance, the Kid Safe Network and is a Darkness 2 Light facilitator. As a Child Safety Expert, Kim has appeared on local and national TV and Radio shows, helping to raise awareness on the importance of prevention education. For more information about her work or to schedule a workshops go to: www.savvyparentsafekids.com. You can also join her on Facebook and Twitter.
