Christmas can be a stressful time for everyone. Parents are prepping for the big day, hoping to accomplish everything before the kids get out of school for winter break. The kids are busy studying for finals and wrapping up the semester. And all the while, the whole family is trying to squeeze in all of the fun holiday traditions.
What better time for some fun Christmas jokes?
- What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph
- How much did Santa’s sleigh cost? Nothing! It was on the house!
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Coal. Coal who? Coal me if you hear Santa coming.
- What says “Oh, Oh, Oh” and wears a red suit? Santa walking backwards!
- Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to go caroling with me?
- What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.
- What do grapes sing at Christmas? 'Tis the season to be jelly.
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and open your gift!
- What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has No-el.
- What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month? The letter "D"!
- What do reindeer say before telling you a joke? This one will "sleigh" you!
- What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps!
- Where does Santa keep all his money? At the local snow bank.
- What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes and Ice Crispies.
- Who delivers presents to ocean animals at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
- What’s Santa’s favorite fruit? Sugarplums.
- Who’s Santa’s favorite singer? Elfish Presley.
- How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
- What do you call Santa when he takes a break? A Santa Pause.
- What does the gingerbread man put on his bed? Cookie sheets!
- Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning? Because it was Decembrrrrr!
- Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They drop all their needles.
- Who is never hungry at the holidays? The turkey — he's always stuffed!
- What does an elf study in school? The elf-abet.
- What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride? A Holly Davidson!
- How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He saw it on his calen-deer.
- Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card? Because he went down in history.
- What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? A snowball.
- What did one snowman say another snowman? You’re cool.
- What falls at the North Pole and never gets hurt? Snow!
- What kind of pictures do elves take? Elfies!
- What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band? The Who!
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Anna. Anna who? Anna partridge in a pear tree.
- What do fish sing during the holidays? Christmas corals.
- What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? Ornamints.
- What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells...
- What is Santa called when he is at the beach? Sandy Claus.
- How do you wash your hands on Christmas Day? Use Santa-tizer.
- Why is Santa afraid of getting stuck in a chimney? He is Claus-trophobic.
- What did one Christmas tree say to another? Lighten up!
- Where do reindeer go for coffee? Star-bucks!
- Why couldn't the skeleton go to the holiday party? He had no body to go with!
- What do reindeer hang on their antlers at Christmas time? Horn-aments.
- What kind of music do elves like to listen to? Wrap!
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Interrupting Santa. Inter–Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
- What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!
- What does the gingerbread man use when he breaks his leg? A candy cane.
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas!
- What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? A pine-apple!
- What do Santa's elves drive? Minivans.
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time to help decorate!
- What do you call an old snowman? Water.
- What comes at the end of Christmas? The letter S!
- What is a Christmas tree’s least favorite month? Sep-TIMBERRR!
- Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!
- What does Santa call his dog? Santa Paws!
- What do you call an elf who just won the lottery? Welfy.
- What is Santa's favorite kind of candy? Jolly ranchers.
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Dexter. Dexter who? Dexter halls with boughs of holly.
- How can you tell when Santa is near? You can feel his presents.
- What was Santa's favorite subject in school? Geome-tree!
- What do snowmen eat for lunch? Iceberg-ers!
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Snow. Snow who? Snow time to waste, Christmas is coming!
